How to Ground Ourselves in Stressful times (including exam season)

Whether you are currently:

– Supporting loved ones with exams
– Having a tough time yourself
– Navigating uncertainty or overwhelm
– Just unsure of who you are or what you want right now.

You are not alone.

It is great that you are reaching out for support.

That is the first important step.

This post has some helpful tools and practices for you and/or your loved ones to shift from fear to calm – especially especially for midlife women doing a lot, feeling a lot and holding a lot.

When life feels intense – whether it’s exam season, big transitions/events or just one-too-many tabs open in your mind – it’s easy to spiral into stress, overthinking, or worry. 

These are all signs of fear, and fear is a completely normal response to pressure, change, and uncertainty. It also shows that you care.

But while fear lives in the head, calm, trust, and clarity live in the body. And the good news? You can access that grounded place – anytime.

Below are a few gentle tools to help you drop out of your busy head and back into your calm, capable, wise, steady body. They’re even more powerful when practiced regularly, not just in moments of high stress. Think of this like building a calm muscle – one breath, one pause, one practice at a time. The idea is to take even a couple of minutes to experiment with a practice, maybe one each day and see what works for you.

Try them out and see what feels good for you.

🌬️ Box Breathing

Why: Calms your nervous system and gets you out of “fight or flight.”

How:

• Inhale for 6
  
• Hold for 6
  
• Exhale for 6
  
• Hold for 6

Repeat 4 rounds. Imagine drawing a box with your breath. Simple, effective, and surprisingly soothing. Breathing out stale air is particularly important and, of course, deep breaths of fresh air in, rejuvenate the body and calm our nervous system too.

👁️ The 5 Senses Reset

Why: Brings you into the present moment when your brain is spinning.

How:

• Name 5 things you can see
  
• 4 things you can touch
  
• 3 things you can hear
  
• 2 things you can smell
  
• 1 thing you can taste
  
  Do it slowly. Even better if it is outside. Let each sense anchor you in the now.
  

🦶 Grounding Into Your Feet

Why: Stress pulls us up into our heads. This brings us back down. Even better with bare feet and outside.

How:

• Stand or sit, close your eyes and press your feet into the floor. 
  Feel into each of your toes.
  
• Feel the support beneath you.
  
• Visualise roots growing into the earth.
  Maybe say to yourself if it feels good: “I am here. I am held.”
  

🧠 Remember Your Power

Why: Fear convinces us we’re helpless. This reminds us we’ve faced things before – and come through it.

How:

• Recall a time when you felt strong, capable, or resilient.
  
• Where were you? What helped? What did you do?
  
• Let the felt sense of that moment rise in your body. Let yourself fully remember it.
  Say to yourself: “I’ve done hard things before. I can do this too.”
  

🛏️ Body Scan

Why: Connects you back to your body and gently lowers stress hormones.

How:

• Stand, sit or lie down. Close your eyes, if it feels safe.
  
• Slowly scan your body and bring awareness from the top of your head down to your toes.
  
• As you pass each area, notice how it feels and then soften it slightly – even just 5%.
  No fixing. Just noticing and softening.
  

💗 Hand on Heart

Why: A simple signal to your brain: “I’ve got me.”

How:

• Place your hand on your heart.
  
• Breathe.
  
• Whisper something kind: “You’re doing your best. You have got this.  All will be well.” or whatever works for you.
  

🤸 Shake It Off

Why: Tension lives in the body. Break free of it. Let it move!

How:

• Shake your hands, your shoulders, your legs. Your whole body.
  
• Dance or shake aroudn in one place.
  
• You can put on Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, ABBA, or whoever gets you moving – just 30 seconds can help shift and reset.
  

✍️ Name the Fear, Gently

Why: Writing or talking out loud creates space between you and your thoughts. I often do this via WhatsApp voice notes to myself or a friend. Listening back can also help us get distance from our thoughts and give ourselves what we most need in the moment.

How:

• Try: “Right now I’m afraid/feeling that…”
  
• Then: “And what I most need is…”
  This isn’t about solving everything – it’s about being honest and kind with yourself.
  

🤱 Comfort Yourself Like You’d Comfort Your Child

Why: You deserve the same compassion you offer others.

How:

• Imagine your child or a puppy feeling exactly what you are right now.
  
• What would you say or do?
  Now offer that to yourself – tone, tenderness, everything.
  

🐚 Ask Your Future Wise Self

Why: She knows things ´Present You´ forgets.

How:

• Close your eyes. Picture the version of you 5 years from now – grounded, glowing, wise.
  
• What does she want you to know today? Tune into and embody that.
  
• Thank you future wise self for the wisdom they have shared.

There´s a few ideas to see what might best support you or those you love. Have a play and let me know how you get on!

💛 You have got this.

You don’t have to do this perfectly. Just showing up for yourself with compassion shifts a lot. In fact, in my experience, compassion is the biggest key to changing our state and connecting to our full brilliant grounded selves. Unfortunately, fear usually blocks us from doing that and creates all sorts of barriers to giving ourselves what we most need. Remembering to treat ourselves with the same love, kindness and respect sounds so simple and yet it can be one of the hardest things to do. Thankfully it is something that does get easier with patience and practice!

Please feel free to comment or share below what practice/s or tools best work for you and if you have any questions.

If you’d like more support in feeling calmer, clearer, and more connected in your life as a midlife woman navigating change or uncertainty, I’d love to walk alongside you.

If you would like a zero-obligation chat, I am here for you. Here is my calendar link

To find out about future ´Calm Room´ free community support sessions with me and other midlife women on different topics, but essentially to breakthrough the noise and reconnect to our true selves, please email me at hello@emmathornelees.com

I always love to hear from you!

With love and compassion for whatever you are facing right now,

Emma

Video below on our recent Calm Room session supporting ourselves in exam time to best support those around us.

Images: Myles Tan and Prisculla du Preez from Unsplash.